The Fiery Flame of Rebirth/The Stone Faces of Reverence

Ever the Bipolar am I! This entry was not intended to have such juxtaposition! My hope that it still possesses a sense to it, but I can live with it just being what it is, very me indeed!

I was going to stay silent about the terrorist attacks of 9/11 because I no longer “feel” it, or at least not the way I once did. Feeling unclear as I did, not having an opinion, I wasn’t going to add to the static.

The reason I had a change of perspective? I was shown one via an oracle card. Leave it to my love of divination and guidance to open my eyes to what I have been feeling all along…that this is about death.

Set aside everything else, take it right to its core, we are talking about death. Not just any death, the death of many in unimaginable ways. This was the perfect act of terror because the form of the death was that of a horror movie. When I think upon 9/11…this is what I remember. I care not about the politics, yes it is indeed a horrible thing how these deaths were used to further this countries, already well in place agenda, but that does not erase that many died a horrifying death. So I set all that static aside to remember and honor death of the many and their families left behind.  

The card I pulled is The Phoenix. Its key words are: resurrection, surrender to change.

So this is my moment to honor the lives lost, just simply put,  people where subjected to a terrifying death but I find comfort in that they were released to be….what ever it was they decided to transform into next. Life, their lives as well as deaths were intended to teach lessons in the intricate web we all interconnect with, to surrender to this change brings some sort of enlightenment.

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Just now whilst writing this blog entry, a sound shook our house in the form of a massive motorcycle caravan rumbling by. Outside my large picture window rode an endless sea of motorcycles of all sorts, even a few crotch rockets. Many had American Flags on their bikes, some had women riding on the back taking pictures, but they all shared the stone face of reverence.

Here is the picture I took. I will admit to being easily moved by this sort of display of unity for any cause. It’s an energy thing. I feel what they believe in, and when its of this magnitude…its a beautiful thing.

Tomorrow I will celebrate the Harvest Moon. I will ponder, reap, lament, and honor the coming death of Summer, of plants that brought us our bounty. I keep thinking there be a link, a connect back to the events of 9/11, but that’s when I get lost in the hurricane energy of pain. Perhaps someone less empathic can see the interconnective threads into the web and how it must have impacted the collective, on the side of the positive.

On a sunny day like today, like it was that day as well, The Sun is the symbol of life. And so I come full circle. Life, Death, Rebirth.

Musical Appreciation Gone Wild

I always say I have no real form of escapism, I said this just day or so ago. But I’m chock full of bullshit and falsehoods, and this be but one.

I escape deeply into music. I waste away hours listening to my iPod. Sometimes it requires ear buds so music can fuse with me, where I get lost in my stories yet to be written. Then at times I want to hear the world and the world to hear my music, so I play it on my iPod player…loud! I have found there is a kind of cycle as to which way I go with my insatiable listening habit. Oh and a habit it is.

When I look at my bank statement online this “habit” glares at me in the form of numerous debits. My addiction sings as clearly as Florence and the Machine or who ever is my current obsession.  

See, I get bored. I repeat new songs till love nearly turns into loathe. So off to the store I go. The iTunes store that is. I’m in love with the journey through iTunes finding independent music so few are listening to. Finding these gems I tell myself I’m supporting the little independent guy, and yes this be true, but I’m also feeding my “need” for new music, my musical fix.

The lusty need began at the New Year, in this pondering I see an intersecting of my sexuality blossoming via belly dancing, with my “Musical Appreciation Gone Wild”. If I were to look back and see the total cost of this fetish, I would cringe at the magnitude of it all.

My confession is really to be writing…you know anything to dance around the large block to accessing the writing you ought to be doing. But it’s also about coming clean, that I do possess “things”, including but not limited to escapism.

As to my other “things”, you really will have to wait for my book. You know, when I write it.

P.S. I would love to hear some juicy confessions! You know I heard something about it being good for the soul and yes, I'm feeling awfully Catholic today. What's up with that??