Messages For The Dark Messenger?

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Fucking Signs

I 'see' signs everywhere. Though more than a little psychic, I cannot read cards for myself so I depend on messages from the world both seen and not. Nature speaks the loudest but I seem to be into making things rather difficult on myself and hardly leave the house, therefore limiting communication with the Divine.

This does not stop them from finding a way. I mean they are fucking deity and shit after all. Their newest way of spanking me with truth is via the internet. Pinky Swear! I have seen “trending” messages before, but this one is so strong and clear, even as I flinch at the mere idea, I accept the message with reverence and everything. The fact that I am even sharing this speaks to my openness. I seem open booked but it is I that decides the stories to tell, and how to tell them. Keep that in mind when I seem to be in overshare mode.

This can mean only one thing; I have had enough with the self-flagellation! Its redundant tiresome bullshit whispered to my psyche by dark unattended spaces where the lie hatched. I believed that the "L" word was not for me but for others and perhaps is even a myth. Simple in its maliciousness, it has afflicted my capacities.

But let us circle back to an unequivocal fact that the Divine is swaying fate to sweep raggedy notions out of those dark spaces, and clearly does not care one fucking bit that I am terrified.

I’m pretty sure I was not in stealth mode and gave up the reveal already, but in case you missed it.

Today’s message is LOVE.

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The oracle card set the tone, the rest played out seeming like voices set to a choir of one word. 

Your Card

Love

~

My child, my wondrous one, it is time to celebrate because Love is calling to you to open your heart and receive my blessings. Choosing this symbol is a powerful sign that love in all forms is in your life now. There is a responsibility to this also. You must give love freely without conditions, and love because your heart is open.  There is something else here to consider. Love can be a confusing force too and can sometimes ask a sacrifice of you.  If your heart is aching and feels like it’s broken, know that Love has a greater Love for you later. No matter where you are in your life right now, Love has come to guide you into an important experience. Trust in Love.

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Rob Brenzy of Free Will Astrology seems often irks me with his unflinching capacity for love and his willingness to get everyone on the carousel.

Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology

"I tell you the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." - Vincent van Gogh

"The most vital right is the right to love and be loved." - Emma Goldman

"Love imperfectly. Be a love idiot. Let yourself forget any love ideal." - Sark

"Everything I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything exists, only because I love." - Leo Tolstoy

"To love is to tilt with the lightning, two bodies routed by a single honey's sweet."

- Pablo Neruda

"Love is a great beautifier." - Louisa May Alcott

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Fall in love over and over again every day. Love your family, your neighbors, your enemies, and yourself. And don't stop with humans. Love animals, plants, stones, even galaxies." - Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

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{peace.love.free} seemed part of the conspiracy with this quote on FB. I can only hope to know Love minutely in the shadow of how much Love, knows this woman. Take a moment to take a look see at Jeanette LeBlanc's website.

If your beloved

has the life of a fire

step in now and burn along.

Rumi

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So then there came the sexy saunter that is Rebelle Society. Please click and read as its not too long and you are worthy of the wisdom. 

"LOVE, love is the answer.

When we are loved, truly loved, we become our authentic selves. Love sets us free from our one big fear that keeps us from being ourselves: the fear of not being loved.

Being real is the capacity to accept and love ourselves, every bit of ourselves so we may be loved by others. This becoming real may take time." 

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Facebook mirrors and though this doesn't fit the "message", it dose fit my thoughts of late. I feel the push and shoves towards it while I feebly dig my thick worn heels deep into the core. But my reality is that I am already free to take any fucking Leap I wish.

Why not take the most dangerous of Leaps?

"When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly"

"Doubt begets all sorts of ill begotten self-destructive doings..."

 The fog that has settled here in the PNW is eking into my mind. Not helped by long delays in getting money settled and a knee injury from earnestly practicing yoga and belly dancing. The cycles of these nonmoving events boggle. I feel a slipping that I know so well and have to let go into, but the hypo-mania was far too short and it did nothing for my disordered eating. I can usually count on mania being a wonderful equalizer when it comes to all my binges. This time I’m left wanting.

When I find myself here, I wonder each time, how am I going to make it? But in the last three years I’ve been feeling the deep sting of aloneness. There is simply no one for me to tether to and ache for it so. It isn’t like I lack awareness of being alone when balanced for a second or the longer standing mania, but obviously depression blatantly reminds.

Mystifyingly, I find me falling for domestication. I left behind the consumer in me, the one that must have fucking Cost Plus snowflakes because seemed styled just for me. I want to gobble them all up and put it in the holiday bins for future usage. I want to cook turkey dinner, pumpkin bread, and lots of soup. But again this is not the new Michelle; this is just the filler that I’m filling me with because I’m empty.

Came to me like a shock that this is THE issue. Yes, there’s a new Michelle but her identity is in flux, in the embryonic empty stage leaving me vulnerable to the influence of doubt. Doubt begets all sorts of ill begotten self-destructive doings, which I already hold expert level like prowess. I don’t need outside pressures to catapult me down this well-known path. The “fuck it” moment becomes so doable on this path, which unfortunately “fuck it” begets “why bother?”  I’ve spoken already of the redundancy of suicidal ideology, but as I feared, the stealthy storm of depression simply follows its path of ‘being’, and I simply am the passenger waiting out the storm.

I wrote this yesterday and paused in its publication because I knew I might regret this pouring out, of what amounts to…self-pity. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but I know that today I am tired of being mired. So I start doing what I can do, what I do have control of despite the arrival of limitations.  Like for instance, I can walk. Oh how it’s going to be a freezing affair, but I had to my chance to walk in the sun, and chose self-pity instead. So this is what I get for not finding a way before this, a bloated gut and a frozen atmosphere.

Fuck The Divine Feminine, The Divine Masculine Is Bleeding Out On Our Fucking Stilettos.

Attempts at writing today are futile as I took many drugs to rid me of a migraine. Which has work moderately but it has rendered me dull and boring. Still I have thoughts on how we should be focusing on the Divine Masculine as that energy force is all fucked up and in deep need of healing.

In my opinion, this is the core and if we can heal the masculine energy...then we can come cycle back into a place of equality, but as long as there be battle, there be casualties. I would like to see in my lifetime a transformation of all human beings into a state of respect, honor, and love.

Yes, I love the honor code of the warrior and well, we women have need to engage and embrace our male. Denying is as futile as my creativity today. The point is that men need to embrace their feminine and women need to embrace their masculine. Then we get that neato yin/yang thing going on.

Oh and don't go thinking it is the male that is darkness, oh no. Any pagan will tell you that when you light candles to represent the God and the Goddess, it is black for the girls and white for the boys. We women are of the dark womb, we understand death as we have the power to give birth to it. But we need be fertilized, now don't we? that is why God is light, he is life. He is the Sun and we are the Moon. This is a global knowing that most just don't want to see.

But it is time. If truly a healer, then you must understand the value of healing men. We are all human animals in need of healing/balancing and I look forward to having relations with a man on that level.

No matter what, know that the Divine Masculine is indeed bleeding out and we need to triage that shit! We were the funerary priestesses that washed the bodies of the dead in preparation of the pire. Men walked away as they could not face their fallen. We anointed the bodies as we would our freshly born babes. We understand the cycle of life, death, and rebirth in ways men do not, so why not show them? As we are upon a double edged sword, why not let go into our warrior spirit allowing us to forge forward...together.

Ok well I am not going to edit this, it is what it is. My brain is that of pudding (chocolate if you were wondering) and so thoughts expressed are either profound, or likely gibberish. You decide.

Keep The Good Days To Use For The Fuckered Days To Come

Allowing the good days to wash all over you even though you may know as I do, they can fleet away just as fast as they rushed in. I find it unwise to deny the pleasure that a good day offers. Fleeting or otherwise, you want to take it in and use it for all that it possesses.  

I am undeniably having one of those “good days”. I think that I can give credit to my yoga and the belly dancing I've found me doing for 3 days now. Amazing it is that breathing and bending can bring such speedy results, which is my preferred way. I’m not known for patience so do have a need for a noticeable alteration as result of the changes I make. And yes, I decided to move my body because I have the energy to do so. Here lies the trick, without the energy I sit lost in the other-worlds awaiting the swing.

For those that sit worrying that these “good days” will pass and so why bother to take in the joy, well I have been there and I can tell you that it does not serve you at all. When young and so unhappy that I felt “the sea of sadness” would never end, I would tighten up in any happiness feeling like it was not “real”, just mania passing by. Again, this did not serve me well at all.

Set to memory how it “feels” to be here, this is for everyone, bipolar or not. I burn incense, light candles, and send love/ healing to those I know are in pain. I watch the cold rain so dark it dims the light in the house as though night time has come at only 11:22 AM. I breathe deep in the beauty making it a solid memory that I can recall later when the darkness internal comes for me. This is a challenge still, but I practice as best I can and there are moments it works quite well.

I hope this will find those in need of knowing they too can contain their bliss for later days when it’s all fuckered up.  Cause shit happens and having tools such as this can make the difference between coping, and falling down hard.