Read this article. http://www.rebellesociety.com/2013/10/07/embrace-the-fall-the-happy-landing-can-take-time/
It speaks to me and may to those of you that
contain the deep knowledge of The Fall. Those in the know, also know about the getting
the fuck back up, the finding you’re your way to movement forward when there’s
the risk that at any moment, you will fall again. My acute knowing of this fact
is the hardest part of my being bipolar. But it is true; I do find the tangible
meanings of things each and every time spent in my own personal pit.
As this is Monday and traditionally a day of discontent, and being
sensitive to the masses that I often lay blame at the feet of all those that
loath it so, I thought I would change a bit. Grateful Thursday has not worked
for me as Thursday is a day easily forgotten, but Monday is a thorn in my brain
so it is decided that I will be grateful today, each and every Monday. Why the
fuck not?! Maybe I can turn this curse into a blessing by doing so. I found
that Monday Madness found me even in Belize where days blurred into the next. I
would be having a disjointed day and sure the fuck enough…it was a Monday. But
no more this curse…today I declare that Monday is about the being in a state of
gratefulness and in the service of others.
When I was practicing my newly embarked upon yoga routine this
morning, I found myself speaking “prayers” for those I love that are in
distress. It easily became a mantra that morphed into a form of meditation, for
which is a kinda miracle as I find mediation a futile act. It reminded me of
the scene in Eat Pray Love when the main character is struggling with her
prayers in India, when she dedicates her prayers to a friend in need, it is
then when it comes easily to her. In the end this simple act benefits me as
well as to the people I love, it comes rippling back to me as much needed fresh
energy.
This is my moment ago found
(after time in the pit) state of grace. Stating a state of grace is a bit
unusual but then again, so am I. I know I will fall again, but next time I hope
to fall with graceful acceptance and perhaps the letting go phase will come to
me on speedy wings rather than in lethargic anguish.
Monday Gratfullness…I am loved.
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