I intend on being many things to many people in as many places as possible. Yes, “intent is everything” is a common catch phrase of mine and though my knowing this to be true has not faltered, what has is the fact that the “attention” that intent requires to survive past illusion, is far more difficult to maintain than I could ever have imagined. What we mean to be is far too easily pulled into the muck of Fear and Doubt…my personal arch nemeses.
I know what I want, so why do I step in the way of this? Fear and Doubt only possess power I give, knowing this and transforming it seems to be one of my greatest challenges. How much I can overcome seems to be born from the fact that I create scenarios I must survive. I know that sounds off, but if I’m busy focusing on the nodule in my left breast…I’m not writing.
The simplicity of this crick of the brain is both fascinating and infuriating. The “why’s” matter not one tiny bit when something this fundamental within me is so fundamentally fucked up. All that matters is circumventing my way to the prize.
Really, I need to outwit…me.
Fear is a tool, and only an obstacle if you allow for it to be. Fear teaches us to go slowly, take stock of our resources, and gather what we need to proceed. Sometimes that's courage, sometimes that's a gun, sometimes that's additional information. <3
ReplyDeleteLet your intention to be move obstacles and to be able to learn quickly from the ones that can not be moved!
Much love, Sister!