I’ve never seen the Blue Moon as being melancholy, but this
Blue Moon energy has been kicking my ass and the ass of others in my circle of
friends/family. Painful memories have been on the rise within me since
December when I really started to delve deep into my origin story for my book.
I'm not sure a day has gone by when I've not cried for all that has been, but
in the last few days I've been given opportunity to cry cleansing tears due to
old wounds being on the of mending side of things. Better place to be than to
hold close ancient pain and allowing it to beat me like the submissive that I am
not. I am grateful for the opportunity to reconcile with my loved one and am
glad to not be missing him anymore.
But still I hear the Joker heckling in my ear “this town
needs an enema!” and I will agree that I need a good cleanse; only I would
prefer to do so via the nekkid lady spa in mugwort scented pools than water up
my arse. I’ve never gone to the spa with intent before. I mean yes, I intended
to cleanse my body but not with such a pointed objective as to release a this
or a that.
Sweat, soak, and scrub away what ails, then off to my
writing retreat at Shakti Cove on the 9th. Whatever residual icks
that linger about will be left at sea. I will be calling Ina my mom’s long
dead partner and original owner of Shakti Cove to help me in my endeavor to
write my book in those five days. I mean shit, it is MY story after all! Still,
I think paranormal assistance may be in order.
So a Joker from another incarnation is graveling in my ear “why
be so serious?” and to that I say, “because I’ve been busy feeling all sorts of
bad about all sorts of bad things, that’s why!” It really sunk in today that I’ve
not been laughing too much of late, that everything has been very serious and do
or die. Well I’m not dead so why not let go and step into being the me that doesn’t
care who's watching when I sing or I dance or anything of the silly
sort? I’ve come close to this ideal in the past and always draw back the toe
from the scary water. But why the hell is this so scary? Does that matter? I
think what matters is that I keep trying to dip my toe in the scary waters of
freedom that includes singing and dancing.
If this post seems disjointed...it’s because it is. Why? Because I have Jokers wispering in my ears!
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