Write, Release, Reclaim

The day before I found out I was denied SSI I had a wonderful day, one filled with magic and assurances that I am indeed on my path. I spent the morning walking, taking pictures and talking to trees, then in the afternoon had a pedi with the lovely Jana and have the brightest red on me toes, and I love it! I saw 5 blue herons fishing, two eagles playing midair, one peregrine soaring, and a kingfisher on a power line.   Anyone who knows me well knows I see animals as omens, as messengers and through them I KNEW that my life was finally beginning. So though I did have a mini breakdown yesterday morning…I bounced back due to the outstanding support of T (T stands for the crazy magical young man with the plan to get me to Belize!) and Terri. Oh and of course the natural world that speaks to me every time I bother to get out and listen.

And so to move forward I will be going on a writers retreat in September to finish my book in whatever form that may be. T is right in the fact that I have to just write it all out even if not all is intended on going into the final form, I need to release the pain inflicted and the afflictions it has manifested. To that end Terri is funding a trip for five days at Ocean Park staying in one of the cabins at Shakti Cove.

What makes this significant is that these cabins were renovated and operated for several years by my mother’s ex-partner Ina. She was my reluctant co-parent from 1^st grade till the day she died, and she died at the house that is part of the property of Shakti Cove. I have never stayed there and have only driven on the property to take a look around and say hi to the new cove keepers. They never know who I am as I did not keep close contact with Ina and didn’t even go to her memorial because I just could not face her death at the time. So I can think of no better place to commune with the past so I can proceed with my future.

As I write this “random” on my iTunes decided to be all timely and shit and play Stairway to Heaven, one of those songs I take to be an omen of good/bad tidings when I hear it on the radio. Today I swing the pendulum on the side of good tidings.