Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Holiday Sadness/Gladness



So yesterday was difficult just as it was certainly always going to be. Kassy got along fine both alone and with her brother Andrew and their family in Seattle. I assume Terri did the same in Colorado and so I wasn't even needed, but I am sure I was missed.

Being missed is far better thing than being needed. When it comes to love are we not in a far better position to love another if need doesn’t have a part in the play? This Christmas marks a moment in time for Terri, Kassy and I as the small family unit we once were, one that was necessary and in the end the healthiest separation I personally have ever witnessed, let alone participated in.

Today I feel the power of that moment and as I write this I am moved to flowing tears, not ones of sadness, but tears of gratefulness to these two wonderful people who I shared much with and were able to say respectful goodbye to a life of positivity and not one wrought with the pain of dysfunction. Ok, we had our moments (many), but that is not how I view our history from this pinpoint in the map.

As I make this decision to leave San Ignacio and move on to the sea, I do so knowing I passed the test of fear and doubt so that I can give love and respect to a life once lived and a new one unfolding before me with no regrets. I do of course possess an ache in my heart for missing those I love but knowing they are doing well…even without my magnificent micromanagement skills! 



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