Intent IS Everything

My first post for this blog is a poem from The Goddess Oracle, a set of oracle cards with nothing but wonderful Goddesses that I use as guides. I decided to pull a card today to see what the Goddesses had to say to me, it was timely in many ways. I just recently wrote on Facebook that I am ready to emerge from my chrysalis state and join the human race…already in progress.

This blog is intended to be where I note my transformation in body and expression. I have started the journey to wellness many times, but now I am finally living what I have only managed to attempt in the past.

The transformation of body started with slight movement’s healthier food and now has moved into belly dancing and a great deal of less food! For the most part have no idea what I’m doing or if I’m doing it correctly, honestly I could care less. I personally think I’m a fantastic dancer!

As I cut the new me out of all this flesh I have found hidden damage from the years of being morbidly obese. But this is what ice and ibuprofen is for. My skeleton is not all that pleased with my distinct rhythmic movements. My body will just have to deal, because I refuse to stop moving.

My expression comes in the form of writing a book, actually a memoir. I have finally found a way to write the many stories of me in a fashion that does not invoke overwhelming shame. If my shame provokes a connection with others in similar situations, than it will be worth exposing myself without the benefit of a trench coat.

I realize I’m not done with this transformation into healthy kickass published author Michelle yet I sense that freedom is just within reach. I know my intention is true, true enough to manifest what I most need, and what I most desire.

I wrote this the other day and I shall add it to this post…

So I am down to 272, knowing I am likely 4 lbs officially more than that, but it's still a good number to see and as long as I still keep in mind that reality, I'm fine with it. Oh and I am bleeding again! When was the last time I cycled for real, like a real girl? I honestly have no memory.

I am finding some super scary sagging in my back, instead of getting thinner, I’m deflating! The more I look at my body the more grateful I am for Spandex! I have to get wealthy...I just HAVE to! Plastic surgery is VERY expensive. FRAK!!

Here is what to expect from me…from this blog. Expect much profanity; I am very comfortable with the word fuck. I actually enjoy the word and use it abundantly. Expect great swings in mood as I have bipolar and the pendulum swings without any need of a trigger. Expect babbly posts that make no sense, perhaps brilliant ones that do, and everything in-between. I expect to use this blog to mark the progress of perhaps my grandest transformation. I know how grandiose that sounds but I really don’t give a shit.

So I hope this sums up my purpose, let us hope I keep it updated often. and fill it with words strung together well! Hmm…not sure that was a proper sentence at all. So I guess expect poor grammar as well!

Toodles for now…