Please enjoy Zoe Keating as you read about my Autumn
beginnings. Even though it will not take you 8 minutes to read, it is worth a listen for your own seasonal enjoyment.
On this blustery and cooled off morning the heat kicked on
for the first time in quite a while and the heated floor in the bathroom was switched on. Layers are being layered
with leggings, socks and scarves being amassed rather than cami’s, skirts and
flip flops being donned to stave off the heat.
Yesterday was a warm-ish day filled with thunder, lightning, then pounding rain. Still I managed to get a smoke in whilst sitting in the
side yard, with coffee in hand I watched a gang of blue jays yap about and
make trouble for the chickadees and even a lovely peregrine flew above my
head. With storm clouds advancing and mist forming, it hits me, I
need to let go of the idea that this is a prison sentence and just be ok with
being in the US awaiting a decision out of my hands, so I may make my own.
The moment I let myself go into this, all sorts of Autumn
thoughts filled my head deciding I needed to make pumpkin bread,
buy thick warm tights, and long sleeved shirts. Just fucking face the fact that this is where
you're going to be till November girl, so why not let go and ENJOY it? I mean
it’s not like this isn’t my favorite season other than Spring…the other season
of equilibrium.
Balance is being set and as a sign Mother Nature sent me a
cute pair of raccoons last night as I was yet again smoking in the side yard.
One stood up with paws out for balance sniffing the air as my cigarette smoke wafted
towards him. They came very close but realized I was indeed a human retreating back to eating the moss off our concrete wall. Being a magical thinker, I of course saw this as a sign. A sign that I need to learn how to wear masks as I
transform and perhaps stop sharing every shard of pain or even happiness with
everyone. Keep some discoveries close to my heart in rites of secrecy to gain in
potency, sharing only with those closest or just with me, myself, and the ones
from the/my other side of things.
Soon the smell of fallen leaves in various stages of decay
will fill the air with a magic that can only be found here in the cool North. I
cannot wait to get back to the perpetual butterfly house that is Belize, but
for now I will allow the season of late harvest bring me this particular dark
joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment