Here is just a bit of the why…
It goes back at least ten years now,
the name was not created because it's rather fetching, it was something I started calling myself when giving tarot readings and realizing that I had reinvented myself several times over via spiritual breakdown,
to build back the fuck up again. Wash, Rinse, Repeat…over and over if fucking necessary, this was often advice given to clients. I find that I have a deep understanding of the smalls deaths we endure in life.
I realized we die to the old so that we can rise as to be bad ass phoenix's and that I was no longer the Michelle of my twenties who leapt
at every compulsion offered…just to find out what would happen. More so than
the sick and twisted, what I adored the most was danger. Dangerous deeds like being ordered to
shoot at the Circle K cashier if he runs after Adam who was there for cigs and
beer. We of course had no money, so obviously we had no choice other than to
steal because a night without smokes and beer, would have been a hardship indeed.
I still possess that compulsion to see what will happen. This compulsion led me to having sex on a Belizean island with a Rasta Man just last
year, though this doesn't mean I would ever knock off a convenience store in this age of Michelle. I mean a girl has to set fucking boundaries at some point in her journey.
So yes, there is the natural growth most us humans allow, but there were acts of the nastier ilk in my youth that left me ill to my core and nothing but a deep cleanse would do. Simply put, some endeavors need more energetic soap than others, but I know transformation from the worst of us is more than possible, it just takes a 'no holding back' look at yourself. One must allow for the flinching, for the tears, and the rage that is likely to come when you realize the scope of pain you contain. But indeed cleansing is something I do well and often. Part of the death/cleanse rite is to accept your participation so that you can let it go or embrace it, depending on a plethora of details. If you come here seeking assistance, again, I have a rite for that.
In the end as TQOT, I die to ancient history and negative aspects so that I can be free to continue this journey having learned enough to know not to rob a fucking Circle K store. I mean at the very least...
So yes, there is the natural growth most us humans allow, but there were acts of the nastier ilk in my youth that left me ill to my core and nothing but a deep cleanse would do. Simply put, some endeavors need more energetic soap than others, but I know transformation from the worst of us is more than possible, it just takes a 'no holding back' look at yourself. One must allow for the flinching, for the tears, and the rage that is likely to come when you realize the scope of pain you contain. But indeed cleansing is something I do well and often. Part of the death/cleanse rite is to accept your participation so that you can let it go or embrace it, depending on a plethora of details. If you come here seeking assistance, again, I have a rite for that.
In the end as TQOT, I die to ancient history and negative aspects so that I can be free to continue this journey having learned enough to know not to rob a fucking Circle K store. I mean at the very least...
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